19 November 2017

The fast life.

I started a .... not a diet, but a new way of eating (for me) ‘spose you could call it a “fasting diet” but diet encompasses what you eat, and this “diet” isn’t restrictive on what I eat, just when.

I fast for 19 hours, yup 19 hours with no food, just zero cal drinks, namely water, coffee and tea. Then I have a 5 hour window in which to eat. I see you shaking your head already, and hear you saying “that’s not healthy” “that’s hard to do”  “ I can’t fathom doing that” “you’re starving yourself”. I know, because I said all the same things, not ever even having tried. Basing it on the traditions of my life and the way I’ve eaten that entire time... but doing it the traditironal way got me to this point.... it was time to flip tradition off and try something new.

I came to learn they call this method of eating Fast5. I’ve been at it more than a week, and well... it’s not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. In fact, it’s easier than trying to explain to people that I don’t eat until 3 (my 5 hour window is 3-8, so that I can have a good meal with the family.) It’s easier, than trying to explain to them about the diet, and the history & science behind it. It’s easier than trying to explain to them I’m no more tired than before the diet, I have no less energy, it’s easy. It’s easier than trying to explain to them that, contrary to their thinking it’s perfectly safe(for me)... I mean seriously.... there are people that ACTUALLY starve themselves, or take massive amounts of drugs for weight loss, people that literally get their stomachs cut down to eat less (I know the fantastic success stories of gastric surgeries, but I’ve also seen the dreaded complications a dear friend has endured because of a “safe” gastric surgery) folks that eat to boredom so they stay or get to the “thinselves” they want to be. All I’m doing, is not eating for 19 hours..... 8 of that I’m sleeping anyways...and when it comes time to eat... in that 5 hour window (even though they say don’t count your calories) I still get in my few thousand calories. 

We’ll see how this goes. I have tried a Keto diet to a loss of 70 lbs, that was great. It sparked in me, the realization that I don’t have to be the big dude I always have been, and I can take control of my own life. Fast5 will be a new tool in the arsenal to help get me to where I want to see myself.

27 November 2016


     I cherish seeing people happy. Watching what makes them happy, who makes them happy. I want people to be happy, with all my heart.

     I love seeing people sharing what makes them happy, in whatever way they share. Pictures of their family, their new car, or puppy. Because it makes them happy, it sparks a joy inside of me.

      I don't know when I started, nor when I realized, but I like helping people find their happy, find their smile. I feel that because of situations in my life I can help spread the happy, that I have experienced through those situations.

     I am one to try and be there for people, but help isn't always wanted, but I will always put myself on the line just in case, because people need to know someone is there.

     I've been there, needing someone to sit with, to talk with, to confide in, and no one is there. It's a terrible feeling, like the quicksand in movies, the more you struggle, the faster you sink. I want to be the rope that you can hold onto, and pull yourself up, I'll help pull with all my might, to see you gain your happiness again, to help you find your smile.

30 July 2016

The trail of life

To seek something great, is what we desire.
To set our heart, mind, even our soul on fire.
We start with a roll, then a crawl, stumble & fall.
Dig down deep, before we know how to dig,
This, right here is where our adventure begins.

We gaze in wonderment all the new sights
Since we're off the ground, to new heights.
Soon taking for granted all that we see,
Things we'll miss, and think that never can be.
Things we oft remember far far differently.

We've had ups, and we've certainly had downs,
But what is a hike on level unchanging ground?
Where is the challenge, the goal, the reward?
The easy trail is simple and dull, no benefit
To our soul, a trail like that leaves you bored.

Step up, step out, make yourself uncomfortable
Grow up, grow tall, make yourself vulnerable.
Never stop learning, never stop yearning
To reach a new peak, a new trail, a new goal
This one life you have, you HAVE to live it in full.

Live an epic life, live a story to tell the world
Every day is a paragraph, a page, a chapter
In the book of your life, live it unfurled.
It's your story, write it, strong, write it proud
May it be long, captivating, and ever so loud!

30 August 2015

I think I've become a hiker

Since June (2015) I have hiked every weekend.
At first it was simply for the added fitness, another sustained cardio exercise in my weight loss journey... Simply THAT... I got out and did it because I thought I NEEDED to... For that..

But something clicked, 3rd or 4th time on the trail. I enjoyed it. Like with weight lifting, I really started to LOVE it. Out on the trail (since I'm a newb) I started seeing new things, wonderful, beautiful things that have been in my backyard for years!!! Critters, I've never seen, except in books, or Google. Plants, wildflowers, rocks and dirt, the variety is incredibly vast right here in Southern Arizona!!

Today I realized how much and WHY I love it. Talking to myself on the trail (when you're alone you have conversations too don't lie) went kind of like this..."why am I up so early?" "Sunrise stupid" What a sunrise it was. Watching out over my entire valley, as the sun peeked from behind the mountains to the east....ACTUALLY watching the sun creep over the mountains!!! THAT is why I'm up so early, THAT IS WHY I'm excited to hike... I wondered how many people am I REALLY watching this sunrise with (elsewhere in my area) FEW I dare say. So there is that, I get to see, I get to experience what few others, know happen, but never SEE happen.

Another thing that came to me was how with hiking, I don't HAVE to depend on anyone but myself... Even if I were to make hike plans with someone, and they were to bail on me (which is pretty regular) IM still on the trail... Their loss. I still get to relish in every bit of beauty that comes with every step I take. No one can take that away from me!!

Hiking allows me to have these conversations with myself in an element that makes me realize some of these "problems" that I think I have are rather small and petty.... For goodness sakes I'm a lone man on the slope of a mountain, with no human in eye or earshot, alone... The "problems" of town aren't anything in the grand scheme of things. The seemingly, never ending drama, of the Internet, and being connected to people that may or may not truly care for me, the behind the back gossip, and hate, are non existent out here THERE IS NO INTERNET! IT IS FANTASTIC!!! It allows me to REALLY reflect on the folks in my life that have been there every step of the way, and those that, well are lacking. I think of the people I've been there for, and some perhaps I should have been, and maybe some that I shouldn't have..All of that is replaced with serene, thriving beauty of nature, raw, right in front of me, new every single time.

I don't know if EVERY hiker feels these feels, but they are mine. I've become a hiker, less than some, more than others but altogether, happy in my pursuit of finding my happy place, so that I MIGHT become a better person.

10 August 2015


Looking back on my relatively short life, I KNOW I've made a LOT of mistakes. I've hurt a LOT of people, and been hurt deep to my core. I've loved, hated, lost, found, been ecstatically happy, and sat in the pit of despair, the whole spectrum, I think it's safe to say I've experienced it.

All these things have shaped me into the man I am today. I've learned who I want to be, from them, and who I no longer wish to be. I've learned.... And I think that is important....Through my learning these life lessons, I've been able to change, not against my self, nor for anyone else, but I've changed for me, into a better person.(or so I dearly hope) I don't think that I went through everything to be stagnant, and unchanging, clinging to what I once thought was the "ideal" me.... Mostly because THAT ideal me, was throughly unhappy as a whole... I know that now looking back.

I want to leave behind a legacy that my kids can be proud of, that my family and friends can be proud of. I try my hardest, to make them my priority, family and friends, because I've (felt like) been without, there was a period when I was a jerk (big time understatement) and felt abandoned by everyone I thought I knew. I don't ever want to feel that, nor have any of my loved ones go through it. So I do my hardest to let them know what they are to me, that I love them, not just in word, but in action. I hope to pass that on. The biggest things in life are friends and family, they are dear to me, and should know that.

Life is so short sometimes, and we can't be timid and simply watch it pass us by. "Grab life by the horns" they say, and "they're" right! There is stuff out there I never knew of, right in my backyard. I've found INCREDIBLE beauty in the wilderness since I started hiking every weekend, my only regret, is not starting last year, 5 years ago, 10 years ago....15 years ago, get the picture?? I wanna leave behind an example of how important it is to get out and experience everything a person can in life.

Although I am, I don't want to be remembered as the BBQ guy, the car guy, or the guy that likes lifting weights. I want to be remembered as a friend. A type of friend, dad and husband that was always there when needed, for fun, or for comfort, that followed through on promises made. I want to be that friend ALWAYS with open arms, and open doors to friend or family in need or just to visit. I want to be remembered as THAT friend that pushed everyone around me to be their best version of themselves. I want to be an inspiration to them. I want to be a REAL friend, like I've written about previously, to be a part of someone's soul.

I don't know how many folks I've impacted, but I hope it's been positive. I hope somehow if inspired you. I know I've been inspired by a lot of my friends, in ways I don't know if I can ever express to them, in words. But know, I'll never forget what you've instilled in my life, and because of it, I'm a better person.

That's the kind of legacy I want to leave behind, one of inspiration, always trying to be a better human.